Familiarity

Again, I am up before the sun. Between familiar places. My first thought this morning is how chilly it is. A good feeling but a reminder of how different another familiar place is. It is surreal. Although, our house in Niger no longer holds our things, I keep going there in my mind. It was more than a “container for our things”. It is filled with familiar feelings, noises, smells and well so many memories.  It was filled with our LIFE for 3 years.

  

 

So weird that some of the images that I am reflecting on,  no longer exist in a concrete way. I won’t be greeted today by Ferdinand & Pierre or Birdie, I won’t smell burning trash or hear our squeaky gate.  I won’t play frogger getting the kids to school or be greeted by a half dozen roadside “salesmen”. I will not see any bougainvillea or Tuareg men having tea. I won’t have any begging at my car window for their daily survival. I won’t dodge countless forms of livestock. It is certain that I will  not get sand in my shoes today and I probably will not sweat.  I won’t spot any camels or have my windshield washed by lil boys. I won’t be venturing off to see WILD animals in the WILD (not the zoo): giraffe, baboons, elephants, hippos, crocs to name a few.  I could go on…… On the day to day, not very glamorous or exotic at all but it was home and it was good!

I asked B how she was feeling about the move. She replied, “I just feel like I am on vacation at Gea and Paps”. We are truly enjoying the familiarity of “here”. A cozy robe, Tom’s pizza, snuggling with Daphne, winter air, cookie baking, Mom and Dad hugs, just being here is so calming. So really here we are in our PA familiar place thinking about our African familiar place and contemplating an unfamiliar place as our next home in the Philippines. We are in-between. My heart is still torn about the people I will not see for a long time or even tomorrow. It is so hard to reconcile these familiar places. These are both  places of comfort and more importantly places of life shared well. BUT truly worlds apart. Today, I will not see a veggie man who knows what I like in my bag, or a fruit man who knows what color of apples I like or a fish monger at my gate. I have not heard “Bonjour, Madame” in days or been asked for a “cadeaux” either. Even  the things I thought were a bit annoying bring a smile to my face when I reminisce. But today, I will hug my parents, bundle up in my winter coat & scarf, see old friends and order off a menu that is printed in English. I love both of these places so much.

  

Now the thought of going to an unfamiliar place to make it familiar. I have to admit, some days I am just a bit numb. I know I have been in this place before but it is hard to remember feeling quite like this. I can’t think of Niger and separate all the familiar faces that helped us so much. Those familiar faces are what make it so hard to leave a place. They are a part of our history now, always in our hearts.  But really when we landed there on January 5th, we did not know anyone and everything was unfamiliar. I believe our family did so much more than survive…we thrived. Just thought maybe writing about it would help me think…this is hard, but it is so good and I would not change my life for anything. I know that even next year at this time I will look back and say “WOW” as I see what has transpired in just a year. I will be amazed at what was unknown and unfamiliar has become a part of my life. I am thankful for challenges and change but really love the familiar things that have truly become favorite things.